11 Stress-Reducing Tips for Moms
During maternal mental health month, a time that we spread awareness of, give tips for care, and increase access to resources, it becomes quite apparent that we could all use an “Easy button” on how to manage our stress loads. While many of us aren’t strangers to the overflowing laundry baskets, we often struggle with the idea of putting our own oxygen masks on first. And though I know, that might seem counterintuitive to our maternal instincts, we need to take care of ourselves because:
First and foremost, our health, safety, wellness, and happiness is ultimately very important
And secondarily, we cannot take care of others if we aren’t taking care of ourselves.
Curious how moms can engage in their own self-care? Here are 11 ways they can reduce stress. These are not in any particular order.
1. Increase your own self-awareness by learning your “tells” of overwhelm.
Often times, we don’t notice when we are overwhelmed until we are far past the point of being “whelmed” (I’m still not sure that is a thing!) Some common signs of being overwhelmed are: shifts in energy levels, noticing more irritability, decrease in patience, feeling a sense of urgency or “on the go” all the time, increased anxiety, difficulties sleeping, and having a shorter fuse. When we can begin to increase our own awareness to these signs, we can begin to respond earlier and differently to our overwhelm.
2. Learn how to respond with self-compassion and grace when those feelings of overwhelm creep up (or sometimes it’s not so gentle and feels like you were hit by a MAC Truck)
I know, self-compassion is one of the hardest skills to practice, and yet, it is often the one needed most. Talk to yourself like you would talk to a loved one, or like you would talk to a younger version of you. Give yourself grace and flexibility in your expectations of yourself.
3. Find your own mom squad, or one really good mom friend, who you can call in times of overwhelm (for solutions or just to hear another going through something similar and feel less “crazy”)
We really weren’t meant to do this alone and somehow, we find ourselves doing just that sometimes. It is important to build our own village, especially with us living farther away (intentionally or unintentionally) from our families. Look into your community and find parent meet-up groups, talk with others at your OBGYNs office, reach out to other friends that have had children or maybe even go talk to that other mom at the park with a child the same age as yours.
4. Take a break from social media (and however else you might be negatively judging yourself)
I know, I know- you’ve heard this a million times before. And I get that zoning out while you scroll feels kind of nice sometimes. BUT, we often are taking in so much more information that we are intended to and it is hard to filter out what actually aligns with us and our values, ESPECIALLY, when we are stressed and tired.
5. No really, take a break from screens.
Our adrenal glands, those little glands that sit on top of our kidneys and tell the rest of our body when we are in danger via cortisol secretion do not like screens (Lissak 2018). As out there at that sounds, they are organs, just like our eyeballs. And excessive screen time leads to increased cortisol levels. Cortisol is our stress hormone and if we have more of that coursing through our system, the more our body is going to respond as though threat is currently occurring in our environment.
6. Get adequate sleep when you can.
I am painfully aware of the old adage “sleep when the baby sleeps,” but this isn’t exactly what I’m referring to here… unless, of course, it works for you. More so what I’m talking about is, allow yourself rest when there is time and place for it. I promise you, there will always be more things to get done and if you are overworking yourself to complete your “to-do” list, you are just going to wake up tomorrow with a new one. So might as well allow yourself that rest, know that laundry will continue to pile up (literally and figuratively) and that you need and deserve rest.
7. Take your own mental health day!
Yes, You! Take a day off where you just take a break, from it all. And now, I’m not just suggesting the luxurious (spa days, etc. etc.), although if you can why not? But I am suggesting allowing yourself rest. Think, if you had a boss and they were asking you to do all the things that you do in a day- would you keep working for them? Probably not. And if you were able to take a day off from work, how would you spend it? Now take that wish and make it happen.
8. If not a mental health day, take a mental health moment.
While we all might not be afforded the ability to take an entire day to ourselves, can we consider smaller chunks of time? Can you make yourself a nice cup of coffee and go for a walk all by yourself? Can you schedule a lunch with a friend? Go to your favorite book store for a few hours and just peruse the aisles? Draw yourself a bath with your favorite bubbles, turn down the lights, and put in headphones of the most Zen music you like.
9. Make that playlist that makes you feel like the badass you are and dance around your kitchen!
Add those songs that make you smile and make you dance. Allow yourself to drop the judgment of what you look like and allow your body to move. If your kitchen doesn’t work, take it on the road. Go for a drive and listen to your playlist. Sing at the top of your lungs.
10. Practice Mindfulness
We can be mindful of practically any and everything! Mindfulness is about tuning into one thing in the moment and bringing our full attention to it. So yes, you can be really mindful of those dishes that you are doing or the anger that you are currently feeling and what I am suggesting here is that we bring our attention to pleasant or even neutral things and experiences. One of my favorite mindfulness exercises is to go outside and look around with “beginner’s eyes,” as though I have never seen the space before. Allow your eyes to travel where they want, to take in what they want, and then notice how it lands in your body.
11. Journal
Put some pen to paper. Either write with or without a filter or choose a prompt you like. Here are a few of my favorites:
When is one time I felt like myself over the past week and how did I know that?
Are my values in alignment and how do I know that?
What is something I would go back and tell my younger self?
